Take the Trip!

Lessons from Sedona on Rest & Overcoming Resistance

Welcome back to another Sunday, Writer’s Block Party Crew. I’m tremendously grateful to be here with you for another week.

There is SO MUCH happening. I say it over and over, but it’s no less true this week. And rather than write a piece as chaotic as the inner workings of my brain, I’ll touch on a couple things and then share a few key learnings I had in the last week.

First, Charlie Kirk. Over it? I get it, go ahead and skip this paragraph. The ongoing conversation surrounding his death is top of mind in part because it’s yet another instance of certain people bearing the burden of being expected or rather forced to take the high road. As I attempted to process it all, I stumbled across a great piece by Frederick Joseph, a fellow Substack writer, that hit on so many of my complex feelings with bold, beautiful writing. I’d encourage you to give it a read.

In addition, I’ve immersed myself in reading Supreme Court opinions, including the one that gives federal agents clearance to use factors like perceived ethnicity, race, language, accent, or type of employment as justification for stops and interrogations. All bad. I’m giving myself a little more time and space to sit with that opinion as I write a longer piece that captures my disappointment with and disdain for this Court.

Putting those two things aside for the moment, I want to focus for a bit on lessons learned from a recent girls’ trip to Sedona, which ended up being transformative.

As wonderful as the trip was, I came close to skipping it, especially in the final hours before departure.

In the weeks leading up to it, I pondered how hard it would be to pull out of the chaos of back-to-school season to attend. It’s not the right time, I thought. When I considered the logistics, I all but ruled it out: it fell during my youngest daughter’s first week of school and concluded the day before her birthday, which meant I’d be scrambling to pull together her celebration with jetlag the night before. But I wrestled against my wish to support my friend along with the deep desire to give myself a break. Amidst mounting feelings of overwhelm, both girls got sick, which felt like the nail in the coffin as I tried to make it out.

It just doesn’t make sense, I resolved as I closed my eyes.

I went to bed the night before heavyhearted, prepared to disappoint my friend and give in to the numerous sources of resistance I felt. I’ll stay home, I decided.

Thankfully, I woke up with renewed energy to conquer the circumstances and get on the flight.

And I’m so glad I did.

The first sign of confirmation came quickly when I found myself in an empty row on the plane, which almost never happens flying from Atlanta. Feelings of relief replaced reticence, and I settled in for what would become an amazing experience.

Sedona is beautiful and invites personal reflection and inner peace. Our trip didn’t disappoint. For the four days that followed, we had the time of our lives with deep conversations and boundless belly laughs. As we honored an unspoken but shared commitment to unplugging from our daily lives, we all emerged better. Changed. Whole.

It ended up being a restorative trip filled with introspective, personal revelations, and healing. And there are a few realizations I had that I’d love to share in case they resonate with you:

Rest is a Right…

You are entitled to rest. For too long, I thought of rest as a luxury or a far-off possibility better reserved for retirement. But Sedona made real the fact that rest isn’t a privilege, it’s a right. As high achieving, high functioning, hardworking people, we too easily justify pushing through exhaustion, illness, and everything else. But I’d encourage you to embrace that in the world as we find it, rest is your right that’s absolutely required if you are to continue to process and perform at the highest level.

…and an Act of Resistance

And in a time when this administration would love nothing more than for marginalized people to suffer, it’s also an act of resistance to demand rest. And to relish the experience of feeling restored. As we dined with a private chef, hiked, meditated, and chatted by the fire, I realized how our trip completely contradicted what they would like our experience to be, throwing red rock remnants in the face of those who demand Black women’s lives be filled with suffering.

Forces of Resistance Intensify Just Before a Breakthrough

Finally, I realized a consistent life pattern: For me, intense resistance almost always precedes a breakthrough. It’s the times when I’ve been the most fearful and full of doubt that I’ve found myself inches away from a major learning, a tremendous shift, or a positive development.

Too often I quit things during the last little bit of resistance before I reach a breakthrough.

The realization reminded me of an image I’d seen on social media that stuck with me:

Too often I’m the guy on the bottom, turning around just before discovering diamonds.

So, I’ve committed to continuing to push through. And to trusting my instincts rather than talking myself out of the things I feel compelled to do.

In Sedona, I discovered a sense of peace that I’ve been desperately craving. I wrote my first memoir essay on some resonant, deep feelings. I gained comfort in silence, unearthed unresolved emotions, found forgiveness, and left with deep connections to some amazing women and to myself.

So, this week’s message is simple: TAKE THE TRIP.

Do the thing (whatever it is) that’s on your heart, even if it feels wrought with internal and external resistance. Push through and proceed rather than arguing with yourself about practicality and logistics. Connect with like-minded people who make you feel seen. Press beyond the haze of this difficult time to things that restore your sense of gratitude and grounding, whatever those things may be.

Take the trip. Write the book. Enroll in the class. Quit the job. Make the call. Forgive the friend. Allow whatever’s wearing on your heart to come to light and see how much better your life becomes.

Your turn. What’s the proverbial “trip” that’s been on your heart, but you’ve let forces of resistance deter you from acting? Commit today to taking the first step in furtherance of that thing. You may be shocked by what’s on the other side of this last little bit of resistance. Diamonds, anyone?

Until next time…

Mentally centering for the battle and need a piece that packs a punch? Got you. Take a look at Dear Columbia Law School or Still Short of Breath: On George Floyd, Memorial Day & Continued Dream Seeking.

And if you’re new to The Writer’s Block Party, Welcome to the Party, I (Still) Have a Brain Injury & An Unforgiving Minute give great context on who I am and what we’re building.

I’m so glad you’re here!