Through His Eyes

On Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Someone Who Loves You

Welcome back to The Writer’s Block Party.

I hope you’ve all been well. And that you’re finding joy and peace and holding on to sanity in spite of the times.

As I shared last week, I’ve been selected to attend a writers’ intensive this summer, which was great news. So, I was surprised, shocked even, to feel a sudden shift. Since being accepted, I’ve felt twinges of insecurity that I haven’t experienced in months.

I’m entering a new phase. And it’s terrifying.

It’s hard not to feel inspired by this summer writing destination.

Around the same time, my husband shared his perception of me with me, and instantly I thought “that’s it.”

His perspective helped me reset mine.

That’s the point of our support systems. To be the mirror, reflecting back the beauty that our clouded vision distorts. To pour kind words into us when we have trouble finding them on our own. And to share their views on our growth when we feel stagnant…or scared.

I needed that this week.

So, today I’m trying something a little different, I’m showing you a glimpse into my experience from someone else’s perspective.

My hope is this week’s piece will help give a fuller picture of my journey, which is always my goal. But that it will also help you to see the blind spots we all have in our circumstances when we’re in the thick of living them. And that it will help you better appreciate your courage, bravery, and boldness, even if it requires you to see it through someone else’s eyes.

So, with that…a view of me through his eyes.

“When It’s Written”

By Mark J. Simmons, Jr.

Hello, Writer’s Block Partiers! Welcome back to another week with a twist. I have the pleasure of being the very first WBP guest writer and I couldn’t be more thrilled. And though I’m far, far, far less skilled than my lovely wife, I’m going to do my best to offer a peek behind this brilliant, messy, beautiful, and ultimately perfectly polished curtain. Here goes…something!

What We See

The weekly writing has been going strong for a few months now and your responses have been wonderful. So, thank you, readers. I know you all know the story by now about how Malaika became who she is today. She’s gone from being a high-powered executive at a billion-dollar company coming home stressed most days to putting her voice in print so you can see how she views the world, and it’s been the most magnificent transition.

But it’s hard at times because she puts her everything into anything she ever does. She excels. And it’s because she has the superhuman ability to motivate herself toward her purpose even when the target out there in the ether is elusive. Evasive even.

What our daughters and I see is the same wife and same mom. But lighter. The pressure is still there in spades, but she puts it on herself. No boss in sight. And the beauty of this shift is that she does it with a smile on her face, un-disheveled, because she’s exactly who and where she wants to be. And that revelation, my friends, cannot be bought.

A favorite photo of our crew a while back.

On Teaching Transitions

I was talking to our oldest last weekend, and we got into a discussion about life changes.

“What’s a transition and why do I have to keep changing?” she asked. Well Elle? How much time you got?

Before I started to explain in my authoritative (and equally unlearned) dad voice, she started crying. Through sniffles, she explained she was sad because kindergarten is almost over, and she doesn’t ever want to leave her teachers and friends.

So, I used mommy as the perfect example:

“What does mommy do?” I asked.

Her reply? “She’s a writer.” Can’t lie, I almost cried.

Then I asked, “Do you remember when mommy went to her old job, and she was always running around and tired all the time?”

“Yea, mommy was sad a lot,” she replied.

“That’s right,” I said. “And she made the decision to do something she loved to do rather than doing what someone else told her to do, but she had to step all the way into this new phase in life before that could happen.”

As best as I could in kid terms, I explained that you can’t straddle the line. That it’s okay to do new things, hard things, and not know what’s next. Through our chat, she found excitement about her next thing just as Malaika has.

When It’s Written

Every day our daughters see mommy writing. And I see her platform grow a little bigger, her confidence get a little better, and the imposter syndrome in her subside. She writes because it makes her happy. She writes because she should. She works her ass off. And I am so proud.

Thank you for reading my much less eloquent writing. I promise she’ll be back next week. Until then, peace and love!

-MJS

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Reading his reflection stopped me in my tracks. If my family sees my journey this way, I’m doing something incredibly right…even when I can’t see it. Inspired by their perspective, I pushed through on my current projects. Encouraged by their support (and yours), I settled back into a place of peace and found the power to persist.

It’s one day at a time, one step at a time, one word at a time.

Until we get to exactly where we want to be.

Your turn. In what elements of your life could you get a more objective view of your progress by seeing it through someone else’s eyes? In what ways are you blind to your growth or distorted in your view of your success? How would seeing yourself the way someone you love does help you to fall more deeply in love with your journey and the person you’re becoming in the process?

Thank you for joining for another week. I can’t wait to share my new piece with you next Sunday. It’s taken a while to put it to paper, but it’s a topic I’ve been waiting to tackle for a while now.

Until next time…

Frustrated or raging in this moment? Me, too. You may find some comfort and peace in Unbought, Unbossed, and Unafraid or Demolishing The Truth.

And if you’re new to the Writer’s Block Party, Welcome to the Party & An Unforgiving Minute give great context on who I am and what we’re building.

I’m so happy you’re here!